keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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