the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Blow job season was short but glorious.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
They are going to name an STD after you.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
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