Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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