I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
