i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
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