I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I didn't notice because vodka
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
