The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
