I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
