Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Found your dick twin last night
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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