i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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