I hate your face
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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