Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize