i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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