i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
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