The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
