So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
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while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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