I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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