Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
we made out on top of his cat.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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