Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
