Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
