god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
