no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
