Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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