I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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