So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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