we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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