I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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