There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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