my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Two words: nipple clamps
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