So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
