I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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