i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize