I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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