Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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