Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
