Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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