wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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