The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
