Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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