Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
The beer is more important than you right now.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
