he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
