My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
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terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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