So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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