Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
