Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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