i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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