Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
