I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
