you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
