There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
How drunk are you?
Completed.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
