I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
