The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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