I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
