couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
