He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
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I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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